This Changes Everything

Well, as you know, we are the proud new parents of a bouncing baby boy. Here is a quick recap of the events that lead up to the arrival of our little angel:

Sunday JULY 16, 2006
12:01 am I am up still, unwinding with a book before I call it a night. Jenny had woken up Saturday morning at 4 am with contractions that tailed off instead of progressing towards labour. As I am thinking when this is all going to take place, the door opens and the Greek Goddess of Pregnancy emerges and announces that she has started contracting again. She heard somewhere that moving around will lessen the pain of contractions so she begins to pace and busy herself with I don't know what. I decide to finish the chapter I am on and then maybe offer a massage or something helpful. What a guy.

2:45 am So, I wake up to a white-knuckeled wife clenching my hand and squeezing it as if to help me feel the intensity of her current contraction. I am miraculously not on the couch where my last concious memories have me placed- I am in the bed. So far as I know Jenny has yet to receive that massage offer I planned on extending. I am in a rather intensely delirious stupor. Jenny designates me as official contraction timer. It is an honor. She is doing well and praying that the contractions will lengthen out so that we can call the hospital and get this whole thing started. I am asleep.

2:50-3:50 am I awake every five minutes to my hand being squoze off. As stoic as I am I let out the odd whimper as I remind Jenny to breathe. She relaxes and asks me how long it has been since the last one. Sometimes I remember, sometimes I honestly don't. However, I always give the impression that I am competent and am living up to my responsibility as official contraction timer.

3:50 am Jenny calls the hospital and gives up the particulars- they say its good enough and give us the green light to come in. Finally we are on our way to the hospital!!! Oh wait. Jenny decides that she wants to take a shower. ? . I don't expect to understand, especially at this stage- but...? Okay, have a shower Jenny - I'll just be here when you are done. At least I am still pretty delirious going on two hours of sleep.


4:04 am Out the door and on our way.

4:30 am We arrive at the hospital and check in. They find an available nurse and get us into a labour and delivery room. Sweet, there is a TV. Jenny takes a quick trip to the washroom and I inconspicuously peruse the channels to check and see if ESPN is up and running. It is. Sweet. Back to Jenny- she is in quite a bit of pain now and is ready for the baby to come.

6:00 am I wake up the Fairbanks family with the good news. Sleepy Lloyd offers his congratulations and encouragment.


7:00 am Jenny is hurtin' for certain. She asks the nurse about an epidural and the nurse says yes. YESS. Harold Reynolds breaks the news on a rerun of Baseball Tonight-- the Blue Jays pulled off a big win on Saturday. Double YESS. It is about this time that the nurse encourages Jenny to get some sleep- she needs her energy for the big push. Then she points to a cot in the corner and turns to me. I am instructed to sleep too, apparently I have an important role to play in the not so distant future. So the cot, umm, probably works great for lawn gnomes and my sister Kelly- but c'mon.

7:30 am Jenny's obstetrician arrives and decides that its time to break the water. We are promised that labour will progress rapidly soon thereafter. We decide to lay down for a little sleepy-sleep.

8:30 amish My sister Cathy calls. I am way out of it and do not remember a thing she says. I am sure she said something nice though. Thanks Cathy.

10:30 am The phone rings again. This time it is Kelly, Mike and the girls. They want to see how we are doing, Maddie gets on and says, "has Jenny had my cousin yet?" I told her not yet, "well, I hope he says please and thank-you. See ya." is her response. Me too. Then we could be on one of those grocery store tabloids magazines right next to Nostradamous's latest doomsday predictions and the baby who weighs 350 lbs... "Newborn says please and thankyou!" A star is born. Then Halle gets on and sings Happy Birthday. Oh yeah, I can't believe I am this far into this never ending post without mentioning the fact that it is my birthday today. Good timing little one. Our son is about to join me and Barry Sanders as fellow July 16thers. Good Company. Jenny wakes up and asks for her mascara. ? . I love her.

11:55 am WHOA NELLY- we have made it to a ten. The nurse gives Jenny some final tips on the ins and outs of the 'pushing phase' and we are set to go.

12:10 pm The nurse is clearly in over her head. Jenny has been pushing like a maniac and the head is on its way out. The nurse hoofs it out of the room looking for the doctor. Jenny gets a much needed breather.


12:20 pm Jenny has done wonderfully and before we know it a darling little purple munchkin is out and onto Jenny's chest. As I snip the umbilical cord I look down at my beautiful wife. She has this bewildered look on her face, almost like 'I expected a hot wheels car for Christmas and they gave me a power wheels jeep'. You know that look? A gentle slap to his back and he starts to cry, its absolutely amazing. As we wipe the goop off of him, he calms down and I am have to choke back the tears. This is the best birthday present ever. By Far. For once, I am at a loss for words.