Friday's {Unloaded}

I was chatting with someone the other day (the name and location will remain nameless) and they said, "So how long has your husband been gone?" My reply, "It'll be four months when he moves home." Her response, "Oh, that's not bad. It's not like it's nine months or something. That's not bad at all. I was thinking it was longer."

Is it awful that I felt like smacking her? Of course, I would never. I'm not the confrontational kind. But the feeling may or may not have been there... I'm just saying.

We returned on Monday from a 9 day trip to Portland to visit Todd. And each time I come home to the Seattle area, I seem to forget that we have multiple pots/pans and a microwave right at my fingertips. We took the bare minimum with us to Portland, so I was always finding creative ways to cook dinner. Now I find myself scheming up ways to cook here... and then finally I realize I have a plethora of pans AND a microwave to work with. It's beautiful.

So here's the story - I've obviously alluded to the fact that Todd has been away for a while and that we were living down in Portland for a few months. I've been asked lately what that's all about. Todd is a resident at UW and had a four month rotation with a head and neck group down in Portland. The boys and I tagged along for the first two months and then returned to Seattle for Ryder to begin school... while Todd spent the remaining two months down south without us.

But... he's moving home this weekend. Yahoo!!

I've heard from a few friends about how "impressed" they are with how I've made it through these four months. I'm just here to set the record straight. Please don't be fooled. I cried. A lot. It was hard. So hard. So very, very hard. I don't know how single mothers do it. I really don't. My sanity was on edge at times. Okay, a lot of the time. There was/is just no physical way for my mind to wrap around everything. Plus, I'm seriously sleep deprived, and that doesn't help.

Case in point, we were at our ward Halloween party this week and a friend's husband asked how I was doing. After replying, "we're good" and finding him waiting for more info, I responded, "If you ask for anything more, I may just start crying." I don't think he knew how to respond to that. :)

But, we're very nearly there. And I've been blessed with four amazing boys. Ryder is so sensitive and quickly gives me words of encouragement with his arms wrapped around my neck when he recognizes me getting discouraged.

And Cannon. Oh, Cannon. He's a little trouble maker, but he is sweet (at times) and lately has started saying completely out of the blue (like while I'm carrying a crying, messy-diapered baby up the stairs), "Mommy, I love you."

Hudson is my snuggler. He'll snuggle up to me and get cozy and time just stands still for a moment. His sweetness saved me many nights. My perspective would realign as I cuddled him in my arms in his peaceful room. Of course, chaos would often ensue the second I walked out the door. But those few calm moments each day surely saved me.

And Todd. He's amazing. Very, very, very rarely complains. I think I may have heard him say something negative about his situation twice these whole four months. Well, he has bemoaned his absence from us constantly, but I'm talking about the working and living situation. Frozen meals. No microwave. No family. Long hours. Nasty patients. A sick body. Lonely, sparse apartment. Air mattress. Not an ideal setup, by any means. But he would patiently listen to my daily struggles and encourage me the best he could and even cry with me a few times. I tell you, this has been hard.

But we are blessed. So very blessed.

Up next - We have about a year and a half left of training at UW, and then we'll be ready to setup shop somewhere. Where, you ask? We're not sure yet. We'll let you know when we know.

This has turned into a Portland post. I guess I feel like I can talk more about it now that it's nearly over.

Yay for November and yay for Todd being here for trick-or-treating.

The end.